Life is not a Game of Perfect

I played golf today. As usually happens, my play was erratic. I played from the tips, the tees farthest back from the hole, which significantly increased the difficulty of the holes. The front nine was rough; faced with challenging shots and lengthier approaches to the green, I played decently but not well.

The second nine was a different story. I shot 2 over par, a great score for me.

C. S. Lewis, in his book The Screwtape Letters, refers to the Law of Undulation. Everything has peaks and troughs, high points and low points. It is a fact of life that sometimes you’re up, and sometimes you’re down. Boethius called it the wheel of fortune, where the downtrodden can rise and the privileged can tumble.

Golf is a game of undulation. In the span of a single hole, you can hit a terrific shot, followed by a terrible shot, followed by a great shot. Or any permutation thereof. What’s great about golf, and here is where the game parallels life in general and Christianity in particular, is that there’s always another shot. If you botch a hole good and proper, the next hole offers a chance at redemption. Conversely, if you do well, you can build on that and string together a good round, as I did on the back nine.

I sinned pretty badly today. I won’t bore you with details, but it’s nothing new and it depressed me. Not so much that I sinned; that’s old hat by now. But rather that I failed to live the life of Christ in me. I believe that I am cleansed from all sin, that I have the capacity to live a sinless life in me (if, that is, I allow the Spirit to live His life in me), so when I sin it means that I failed to do that, the most fundamental principle of Christianity. It’s sad. I feel like God would be disappointed in me, that one of these times He’ll turn in disgust and write me off as a wasted investment. This is definitely a valley.

Golf requires an even keel. You can’t let the good shots take you too high, or else the bad shots will shatter you completely. You can’t let the bad shots take you too low, or else even good shots won’t counteract that loss of confidence. Enjoy the good shots and forget the bad shots, realizing that we all make bad shots, even pros. The pros just do it less frequently and their bad shots aren’t as detrimental as ours; plus, they have the ability to recover from bad shots easier and better than us. That’s what makes them pros. Simultaneously, and this may seem contradictory, it helps to feel confident and positive every time you stand over a shot. When putting, the only thought that should be in your head is, I’m going to make this. If you’re thinking about how you’re probably going to miss the putt, how you are terrible at these putts, then the likelihood of you making that putt isn’t great to begin with. But if you believe that you will make the putt, if you don’t allow doubt to creep in, you’ll perform better, strike the ball with a more confident stroke, and make more putts. I’ve tried this, and it works. Expect success and success is more likely, if not sure, to follow. 

I think I set myself up for failure whenever I take my spiritual eyes off Jesus. Because He is my confidence. When it comes to living the Christian life, there’s no doubt whatsoever as to not only the best (and only) method of doing so, but also that it will happen if I put the method into practice. So when I approach a situation or a temptation that I struggle with, I can either rely on my own sinful patterns, which is akin to thinking about how horribly I handle these situations, how I always miss these three foot putts; or I can believe that I will handle the situation because I don’t have to handle the situation. I know the putt’s going in; I know that Jesus can handle the situation. Moreover, He promised that He would.  

And yet I still sin. Some worse than others, at least in how they make me feel. All are equally abhorrent in God’s eyes. I am keenly aware of the disgusting nature of sin, and so sin has a devastating effect. Like an errant tee shot, it can set up a chain reaction that ruins the whole day, or week. Heck, it can even have lifelong ramifications! Even saints redeemed by the blood of Jesus, declared to be the righteousness of God, united with the Living Spirit, can suffer under a spirit of condemnation and depression. The troughs look so dire and deep that we despair of ever coming out. So the first principle is to recognize the isolated nature of sin. It happened. Turn to God, renounce your fleshly desires, and cover yourself with His righteousness which is ever available. Don’t let the bad wrap chains around you and prolong your spiral. Remember, every shot is a brand new opportunity, and we get numerous shots per day. 

At this point you might be thinking, that’s all well and good but it’s hardly the things Jesus referenced during his stint on earth, the “life and that life more abundant” he promised, that “it is for freedom that you have been set free.” Sin, repent, repeat. What is this, the old covenant? Are we doomed to continually struggle with sin? To always fail and shuffle to the throne of Grace in need of a fresh cleansing? Doesn’t sound very appealing to me. Well, here’s where the second principle comes into play. If you believe that you’re doomed to sin, like being doomed to miss those six foot putts or mishit the 7-iron because you always do, then what are you more likely to do? Miss the putts! Sin! 

And similarly, just as you are more likely to make the putts or put a good stroke on the ball with that pesky driver if you feel confidence and tell yourself positive things, you will find that when a temptation or trial crops up you can overcome it if you trust in the indwelling Spirit of God to handle that situation, to reject and resist that temptation, to speak words of life and encouragement instead of worldly words. Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Or Romans 6: 1-14. Tell yourself that Christ lives in you, that He provides the holiness, the strength, the self-control, the patience, or whatever attribute and virtue you require for the situation in which you find yourself. And the putts will start to sink.