I have always been a rather fearful person. Sometimes fear
can be a healthy thing; fear of spanking led me to behave as a child. Fear of
failure pushed me to succeed in school. Fear of poverty pushed me to seek out
jobs, and fear of firing to become a better and more mature employee. Fear is a
great motivator sometimes.
Fear is also healthy when perils abound. Fear of heights or
snakes or spiders help avoid dangerous situations. Even exaggerated fears like hypochondria
help avoid germs. Fear is even biblical: Job 28:28 says, “the fear of the Lord—that
is wisdom.” Proverbs 1:7 is perhaps the best known verse related to this: “The
fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and
instruction.” A few chapters later in 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the
Holy One is understanding.” Even in the New Testament, Act 9:31 says, “Then the
church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was
strengthened. Living in the fear of the
Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.”
People like to quickly amend this concept of fear as being
more of a reverence and awe and I have no problem with that amendment, but the
word is Fear for a reason. God is the ultimate Unknown, the Utter Alien, whose
thoughts and priorities are so beyond human comprehension that they can seem at
times heartless, capricious, even wicked when viewed through human eyes. And
humans fear the unknown when confronted with it.
And this segues into the main bone I’m going to contend
with. Not pick with God, but worry. Because the fear of the Lord’s judgment,
punishment, condemnation has dogged my spiritual life for many years. Who can’t
relate to that at least slightly? One of the downsides to growing up in
Christian homes and converting at an early age is that you have no convenient excuse
for sinning. Ignorance, unregenerate flesh is not an excuse, but it at least
explains why unbelievers sin. But Christians? Who supposedly share the life of
Christ? Who have the Spirit of God within them? Who have been set free from the
Law of Sin and Death, and are alive in the Law of the Spirit?
This is, of course, a common theme in Christendom, and I
mention it only to expose the past fear that I am only now starting to dispense
with. Grace is the antidote to fear, and humility is required to step into
grace. Grace and humility: probably the two must inhuman characteristics that
God reintroduced to mankind with the Resurrection.
My point, however, came as I ruminated on the story of the
talents in Matthew 25:14-30 in conjunction with a message recently preached at
my church. The sermon dealt with Christians standing before the judgment seat
of Christ and answering not for our salvation but our reward (I Cor 3:10-15). The
preacher’s message was that we will not be able to explain our actions, give
excuses or shift blame for apathy or fear in sharing Christ with a spiritually
dead world. We will stand mute; our actions in this life will testify for us,
and what we did or didn’t do with what God has given us will determine our
reward, or whether we will squeak in by the skin of our teeth.
The parable of the talents, as I’m sure most of you are
aware, involves this very theme: a wealthy man gives three servants various
amounts of money and charges them to be faithful stewards. He gives greater
amounts and lesser amounts “according to the ability” of each servant. Well,
you know the story: the fellow with five talents doubles the investment, as
does the chap with two talents. The dingus with only one talent buries it and
preserves what he has instead of attempting to multiply it on his master’s
behalf. He offers excuses for this in verse 24, and wraps it up with verse 25: “I
was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground.” Do you see the
correlation? God has given us everything we need pertaining to life and
godliness (2 Peter 1:3) so that (v.4) we may be partakers in the divine
nature. The point isn’t to build us up
and fill us up with blessing and fulfillment for our own sakes; it’s so that we
might spread the wealth, redistribute it, if I may quote our esteemed
President. The faithful servants went out and put the talents they were given
to good use. They were active for their master, and multiplied his investments.
Well, if God has invested His Spirit and Life in me, what is the multiplication
of that investment? Not to preserve the single investment He gave me, but to
multiply it.
And here’s where the fear boils up. Because I fear standing
before the judgment seat of Christ and seeing my life pass by, seeing my
actions being burned up like wood, hay, and stubble, find that my life did not
count for God. He’s not going to banish me like the unfaithful servant was, but
I will have been unfaithful in my service to Him.
Now. Before you charge out and try to do your best for
Jesus, that’s not what I’m advocating. Because our efforts for God, if divorced
from God’s will and plan for our lives, will avail us no more than apathy
would. That’s a different discussion. I am just trying to sort out my feelings
and fears about this inevitability.
So I was ruminating on
this, and the Lord seemed to murmur, “Don’t be afraid, be bold!” And this is
how I will end, with my “life verse” in the Christian parlance of our time. Joshua
1:6-9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be
terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go.”
