As I was journeying to Game night, I had a spiritual revelation. I almost called it an epiphany, but to me that term always suggested a purely mental awakening or flash of insight. This revelation, which was undoubtedly from the Lord as I shall shortly demonstrate, came at the heart level, the innermost being. A level, I might add, I am unaccustomed to living on, which added to the impact.
To go forward one often must go back first, and so it is with this story. Without droning on about the numerous troubles and tribulations in my life, a great many of which have, recently, been car-related, let me just say that yet another sizeable car repair was necessary, a bill I was unable to pay. Fresh from that, and the three hour drive from my parents’ house, I noted a noise in the car, which in conjunction with the “Service Engine Soon” light blazing defiantly on my dashboard prophesized future disaster (or at least, inconvenience). And I was tense, nervous as I merged onto the interstate; if the wheel came off, things might get hairy. To be sure, the chances of that happening were slim, but I seem to attract mechanical distress like honey draws bees.
All of a sudden, a burden vanished.
The tension melted away, and inside my mind came the thought, How foolish can you be, to worry about this! If it happens, it happens. Worrying won’t prevent it; all it does is enable you to roll around in miserable self-pity even before you have cause! Besides (and here is where the Holy Spirit chimed in, if He hadn’t been speaking already), if the car does break down, that just gives God the opportunity to provide for you! It’s a chance to see Him work in your life, in physical, tangible ways! Hallelujah!
I chuckled to myself, and had a nice cozy talk with Him as my car hummed along. Upon arrival, I found myself cheerful, an alien state of mind for me usually. I can put on a bold face or fake levity, but the heart normally doesn’t overflow with it. Today it was.
I was and continue to be thunderstruck at this blatantly obvious truth, that my weakness and desperation are merely opportunities for God to show Himself strong and capable on my behalf. How many times have I said this, and read this, and heard this! I believed it thoroughly, but my heart didn’t understand. Plus, what if that’s the reason so many things go wrong in life? What if God allows or causes mishaps because He not only knows it will drive us to Him, but He loves to show off! Not in a braggadocios manner, like a peacock strutting for a hen, but like a mechanic who drives along roads in hopes of coming upon a stranded motorist whom he can assist. God wants us to trust Him, to rely on Him, and the best way to accomplish this is to create or capitalize on situations where He is needed, to prove Himself. Boys love to show off for their fathers lifting heavy weights or demonstrating a killer karate chop, not out of self-aggrandizement but simply because they want their fathers to be impressed, to praise and cherish them. Girls adorn themselves in beautiful outfits and twirl for their moms and dads, eager to hear how gorgeous and captivating they are. Is there an element of this in God? Does He yearn for our praise and approval with childlike eagerness and innocence? Dare we ascribe such simple urges to the Ultimate complexity?
We even see this in the reverse at times. A father loves the look of awe and respect in his child’s eyes, and he seeks to earn and deserve that respect, if he is a good father. In the same way, couldn’t the Father of all desire to see our jaws drop in wonder at His work? We marvel at nature and the deep mysteries of Scripture, which is right and proper, but what if He wants our wonder in the everyday humdrum of life? What if He wants us to praise Him because an unexpected bill arrived in the mail a day before an unexpected gift for the exact same amount arrives? And in the 24 hours between the bill and the gift, He wants us to praise Him and trust Him that all will be well?
What kind of a God would be like that? The kind that slips in the back door of Creation, in a manger, when everyone is scouring the landscape for a king? The kind that chooses a backwater country, a backwater city in that country, and a simple virgin girl instead of a seat of power and the lineage of Caesars? The kind that walks into Death’s open arms instead of whistling up legions of heavenly warriors? The kind that recruits fishermen and hookers instead of priests and rabbis? Who takes the ordinary, unimpressive things of life and reshapes the world?
That kind of God might.
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